Things were horrible a decade ago. We had no choice but to do what we were told to. It’s annoying, embarrassing and frustrating most of the time. If we dare not to follow iota of what parents told, we’re held culprits by our relatives, friends, society and whole world.
I personally respect commands of my parents and I love them. But, there are few things that force me to think what is wrong with Indian parents?
First thing which you must understand and accept is that as an Indian child you’ve no freedom to do anything on your own. You like it or not, you’ll be guided on everything and you must follow it.
Your hair style, your dress, your shoes, your vacation (wait, do you’ve free time. I was asked to read next year’s text book in summer vacation) and your career, everything will be decided by parents.
I’m not exaggerating; this is what I personally experienced.
If you’re a parent, then let me clear this to you. Am not against extra care taken by my parents, but there are few things that I failed to tell to my parents when I was child, because am afraid. Today, through this write-up am putting my words.
7 Things Indian Parents Do Wrong
Though this is not the complete list, it will cover main issues that need to be changed.
Most of the things listed here may have resolved by new generation parents. But, again with emerging technology new problems are raised. Today’s parents lack the extra care and leave their children with latest gadgets. Unfortunately, today’s student lack the extra love that a 90s kid experienced.
Coming back to topic of this article, below listed are few important aspects of student’s life and what is going wrong with Indian parents.
Also Read: Why MBA After Engineering (B Tech)?
Few years back as a student we used to have only two streams to choose as a career. One is engineering and other is medical. Luckily, things changed to some extent and now students have more than 2 options.
However, your choice can be influenced by our parents, relatives and society. What you think has zero importance, what Sharma Ji’s kid chooses has more impact on your career.
Indian society already differentiated and allotted career streams of every student. Above average students must opt for science and technology stream, below average students will go for commerce and arts.
It’s not just this, we judge student based on his career choice. Commerce & arts students are thought to be more mischief, while science students are regarded as book worms. We all knew fact is far behind this myth.
Commercialism (ads from coaching institutes), society, relatives and high pay perks in certain career paths forced Indian parents and society on the whole to highlight these career options.
If you pay attention, even Indian films hold engineering and medical professionals at higher position.
What is the solution?
I don’t say that parents have no right to involve in student’s career. Instead of forcing, let the student put his/her career choice. You can discuss with experts and decide the best suited career option.
Most important thing, don’t compare your child’s ability with Sharma ji’s son.
Also Read: Is Hotel Management a Good Course?
#2 Emotional Blackmail
Parents, it’s your responsibility to give food, cloth and shelter for your children. Please stop emotionally blackmailing your kid and forcing him/her to do things that you want.
If you don’t bring groceries or listen to anything, parents use these emotional words from their arsenal, “I’ve no importance in this house, your father and you don’t care me. Why am I here, when no one needs me?” this one sentence has more power than atomic bomb. It breaks heart and you believe you’re culprit.
Well, don’t get me wrong that kids shouldn’t do household works. But, blackmailing and frightening about reputation in the society every time will not allow your children to break old shackles.
If a kid doesn’t perform well in his 20s, this doesn’t mean that he is failed in his career. There are plenty examples, where people out performed toppers in their 30s. Don’t underestimate your children and don’t hesitate to boast them when needed.
Emotional blackmail and negative words depress your child. So, avoid it.
#3 Gaming or Sports
I was allowed to play only when my father is out on his duty or while he is sleeping. I had no dare to play in ground in front of my dad.
Sports or games, aren’t considered essential for children. Even now, very few parents allow their children to opt for sports as career.
Now, things are changed, new generation and new problems.
Instead of allowing their children to playgrounds, Indian parents are handing gadgets to their child’s hand. Though, your kid may seem smart to you by playing online games or surfing YouTube, but it affects his/her overall growth.
With poor eye sight and no physical activity, how can you dream of a healthy future?
Day-by-day things are turning worse; even 1-2 year baby is addicted to smart gadgets. I’m not exaggerating this, most of you’ll agree with me. Without mobile he will not eat his food. Who is responsible for this? Isn’t it parent’s duty to take care of their children’s habits? Out of ignorance or irresponsibility, Indian parents now-a-days are pampering their children with these latest gadgets.
Avoid mobile interaction and encourage physical activity of your child. Outdoor games will have positive impact on your child’s brain, which eventually help him in his studies.
On the other hand, online games or always sitting in front of books will increase stress and will result in poor performance.
Gender inequality is one of the common problems that stay with Indian culture. Even girl parents don’t encourage or support as they do to their boy child. This discrimination will take the society on the whole to old days.
Girls are supposed to do well in college or university, then choose a handsome person with good CTC and use their IQ to cook hot dishes. She shouldn’t be fat, nor should she be too thin. Indian society unofficially released the guidelines to girls that she must be obedient and follow to the instructions of father before marriage and husband after marriage.
Male dominance in Indian is so common that even I can’t save myself from it. While writing this article, I can see the male dominance in me feeling ashamed of my thinking. This needs to be changed.
Am not saying that you must leave your girls on their own; I believe girls need extra care (because we have wonderful Indian culture that respect women by teasing them in public places), but this care shouldn’t hold their dreams.
Likewise, boy shouldn’t be regarded as rogues every time. You must show gender equality and stop supporting male or female dominance.
#5 No to Sex Education
Communication is very important. There are many girls who have been harassed by their relatives, friends and colleagues, but they are afraid to inform to their parents because they will be held guilty.
Educate your boys to respect girls or women. You can do this by showing them how to respect.
Also educate your girls how to be alert and voice if they feel insecurity. It’s not their fault to get harassed.
Is dressing modestly the only solution to stop harassment? May be not.
It is the behavior of society that needs to be changed. Who is responsible for this change? I hold parents, relatives, friends and society responsible to bring this changed. It is the lifestyle which needs to be changed to educate your children. I can’t write more on this topic here, I’ll have to take new article for this.
#6 Low Trust Factor
Indian parents don’t trust their children, whether it’s about choosing career or selecting bride. Everything will be decided by parents.
Why? Because, they consider their children to be so dumb who can’t even choose what he wants.
This low trust factor will damage confidence levels of your child and he/she will always be dependent on you. Allow them to choose what they want, as a parent you’ve right to monitor what he/she is doing. But, do respect their choice.
Decision making ability of your child will be improved and they can escalate in their career.
#7 Marriage and Caste-ism
Casteism is something that has major impact on Indian politics and Indians. It’s not possible to remove caste feeling from the minds of people. But, atleast you shouldn’t insert it in your child’s brain.
Well, I’m not here to clean that feeling from your hearts. Yet, I feel responsible enough to put my words here.
Remember this; your behavior with watchman will impact on your child’s character.
Coming to marriage, caste and religion plays vital role to Indian parents.
Instead of accepting that their boy loves someone from other caste and have a dialogue with them, Indian parents declare the war. This is the reason why most teenagers run from home to get married.
Indian parents decide the time and person to get married. It’s not recommended to force your children to get married with someone whom they don’t want to live with.
Having a dialogue with your children can change things to great extent. May be you’ll get a chance to understand your boy’s or girl’s intention.
I personally recommend marrying at early 20s and some of friends prefer in late 20s. Everyone has their choice, it’s wrong if my parents stop me from marrying early when I want to.
Few More Important Things (What is Wrong with Indian Parents?)
- Lying triggers extreme anger in Indian parents. If you’re caught lying to them, then they will make sure you’ll remember that day for rest of your life. But, they (parents) lie in front of their children. So, how can they expect the kid to be honest?
- If you complain about headache, fever or body pains on Monday, then they will brush it off saying that you’re overacting. Take medicine or even injection and start for your school.
- “Boys don’t cry or boys should not cry”, these things are induced right from childhood. If at all a boy shares his tearful feelings, then whole society insults him saying you’re crying like a girl. Even men do cry and it’s normal.
- Indian society and parents stand forefront to judge you. To save oneself from this, children start lying to their elders. So, parents stop being judgmental streaks.
Indian parents are so caring that they don’t trust their children at any point of their life. Choosing career is the most important aspect of student’s life and most parents force it on their children.
I’d say one thing to Indian parents, have a dialogue with your son or daughter and allow them to put their words before you shove your decision down their throat.